Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If Only It Were True...

In a matter of 3 days all life's problems have been solved. And as icing on the cake, all kinds of goodies are heading my way. How do I know this? It seems I have a magical email folder. Yahoo even sorts them for me. As I read the titles my excitement grew. So I am going to share with you, my friends, a taste of the finer side of life. Here's just a sample of what I have received:

~We Cure All Medical Problems- Finally I'll be arthritis free!
~Danea we pick up the tab at your favorite restaurants- Perfect for celebrating my new disease free life.
~Danea we'll pay you to shop at your favorite stores- Excellent! I'll have something cute to wear to dinner!
~Become a chef in just months- Thanks but I'd rather eat for free at my favorite restaurants.
~We heal any disease- Always good to have a back up plan!
~We need you to shop with our money; keep what you buy- Ooooh Yeeeeeaaahhh, this just got even sweeter!
~You need this- I haven't looked yet but I'm sure they're right.
~Stay at hotels and we'll pay the bill Danea- Looks like I'm going on a trip!
~Danea we'll pay you to travel- Hot diggy dog! It's smell a cruise on the horizon! Oh a cruise and a STOP OVER as I have a free hotel stay. Haha, now I'm using my noggin.
~Danea your pink phone, video ipod, hp notebook and lipolex(?) is ready to ship- Ok those are all separate emails but I'll be stocking the UPS man! Christmas comes twice this year.

Then of course there are a few *ahem* "personal" subjects that I have been given special access to if need be. Of course a few of these I've just gone ahead and forwarded to Jeff as they don't really apply to me.

I'm not sure how I got so lucky or why I am being singled out to receive such wonderful gifts, but I feel truly honored. It's amazing how generous and thoughtful people can be. The world really is a kind, honest and trust worthy place! Thank you precious folder of bulk, you are a gift from above.


DH said...

I just checked my email and got all those forwarded messages and YEEHAA!! It seems to be my lucky day as all my problems will be solved free of charge as well!

erin said...

too funny!!! i hope you're healing and not too bored!

mom said...

Only you could find the humor, I still say you should be a comedian or a writer for one. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many talents!!!!

I love you, mom

Missy said...

Wow that's so cool, all I get is discount viagra and a penis enlargement for free.

Anonymous said...

i have been getting a ton of emails about gambling. where the hell did i pick up those.

missy, i get those penis ones. that is so gross. i didn't even know i had a penis so maybe i should accept one of their offers. LOL


christina said...